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Sunday, September 24, 2023

Lock And Key – Bike Snob NYC

Because the creator of the Chris King Headset Composite Index, I used to be dismayed to study (a number of days after it was reported, I’m fairly checked out as of late) that the Chris King headquarters has been robbed:

I’m loath to even point out this, since final time I discussed a stolen present bike I bought in all types of hassle:

Principally, the too-long-didn’t-read of it’s a bike bought stolen at NAHBS, somebody posted a faux Craigslist “on the market” advert for it, I tweeted a hyperlink to at, and the builder then accused me of making the advert, which I most assuredly didn’t:

Ah, 2010…it was a less complicated time. Individuals had been so simply offended. Not like right this moment.

Anyway, it’s been 13 years (!), so I prefer to suppose possibly it’s secure to deal with the topic of stolen present bikes once more. After all, the primary query that involves thoughts once you examine a heist like that is: “Who?” Not solely is the marketplace for artisan street and gravel bikes tiny, however each single particular person concerned within the promoting, making, and driving of this stuff is aware of one another and are associates. Moreover, all of them have Instagram accounts, and consistently put up images of their bicycles, which might make possessing certainly one of this stuff and being unable to take action a type of torture since they’d by no means have the ability to share a single image with out incriminating themselves. Sure, I suppose the perpetrator may very well be some bitter, jilted previous creep the biking world has lengthy since deserted–a once-revered, now-forgotten bike blogger, for instance–although I keep it couldn’t be me as a result of my presence at MADE would have been quite conspicuous:

Plus, I’ve a very good alibi, as I used to be stealing salmon at a very completely different bike present that week.

Given all this, it’s laborious to consider the heist was an inside job engineered by a member of the “bike tradition,” although BikePortland appears to counsel it was in reality a “brah-on-brah” crime:

Nevertheless, it ought to be famous BikePortland has a good worse document with accusations than I do with stolen present bikes. Keep in mind when they wrongly outed some man who joined a gaggle trip as an undercover officer as a result of he and the cop had been each Asian?

I definitely do, as a result of you probably have a vested curiosity in making enjoyable of stuff like “tactical urbanists” who set up group rides and town of Portland, that is precisely the type of factor you reside for.

Wow, wanting again, it’s nearly like the one factor the Web is sweet for is producing misunderstandings and making individuals offended!

In any case, engaged on my idea that the thieves had been almost definitely outsiders, I took to Portland Craigslist within the hopes that I might discover listings for the stolen bikes. Alas, I couldn’t, however I used to be heartened to study that the over-the-top city fixie (or on this case I suppose singlespeed) factor is alive and properly within the Metropolis of Roses:

Moreover, as a short-term Nishiki custodian I used to be genuinely impressed with this quantity:

Classic Pelotons additionally look like a scorching merchandise:

I can completely see individuals in Portland cueing up their ironic Olivia Newton-John vinyl and figuring out on this stuff:

And naturally something even remotely Speedvagen-adjacent nonetheless instructions a excessive premium, even an previous Allez body that was merely painted there:

That’s like asking $150 for a used white Hanes V-neck since you scribbled on it in Sharpie on the Prada retailer.

Nonetheless, there have been no stolen present bikes, and that gold Allez was about as shut as I bought.

Talking of motorcycle thieves, I might use one proper now, as a result of my son’s key broke off within the lock:

I’m open to any and all solutions.

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